One Last Time

By Shruti Vairagkar (L&T Howden)

She gripped the rim of the porcelain sink and tried to steady her hands.

“One last time”, she whispered to herself. One last time. She examined the tools around her. She selected one, ran a finger along its edge and flinched when it drew blood on her index finger. She was satisfied. “Perfect.”

Sucking on her finger, she looked up at herself in the mirror. She gazed at her reflection, eyes flicking over the constellation of freckles scattered across her cheeks, upturned nose, small dent in her chin, wide forehead. She finally met her reflection’s eyes. A bit of hazel, not quite brown. An in between colour. Neither here nor there. Dark circles shadowed her eyes. There was fatigue, yes. But there was also determination.

She had seesawed between yes and no all today. Should she go to a professional? But her day had taken a toll on her. Working from sunrise till past midnight on most days of the week had left her with no time for herself. She was forced to make this decision.

The first time she had done it was a year back. The result hurt a little bit, but she got better over time. Sure, there often were visible scars but she knew how to deal with it.

“Enough is enough.” She had thought this through. She took a deep breath and raised her hand and cut her own hair.

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